5 6 7 8 9 10 I love you

Unfortuneatly, I can't post a review in the way I want here without screwing up the format of my blog, so what I am forced to do is put a bunch of crap in front of it...

I don't really have any new pictures to share with ya'll...So I will share some random wallpapers from my computer...

wallpaper17

wallpaper14

wallpaper10

wallpaper9

wallpaper8

Do I know you?

I was going to write some big emo crappy thing here the other day but, I decided that'd be a bad thing.

NOW ON TO THE REVIEW!

Time for some more misreviews ripoffing! I'd like to point out that I am in no way affiliated with Misinformer.com

Review: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy By Garth Jennings by Edward Vincent
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy      a.k.a. A good reason to kill a sperm whale
Staring
Martin "doesn't look good in a close up" Freeman Zooey "take me to the zoo!" Deschanel Mos "Definately" Def (that was brilliant) And John Malkovich as John Malcovich	I have been to the dark side and back! I have seen a world that no man should see!
Reviewed On
April 30th, 2005
Rating (of a possible five...)
Four out of five whatever those are. Would have got 3 but I really loved that opening sequence.
Review
Okay! Before you read any of the crap I'm about to write, please please please! Click this link: The Hitchhiker's Guide to Blogging. Perhaps I should set a deadline for this review...Nah, the gnomes would get me. But anyway I'm not even getting started yet. I'm sure you're already sick of this and you want me to move on, right? Who am I kidding, no one's out there. Anyway, just incase there are I will. It all started with a little e-mail corespondence. You should really e-mail people if you want things to happen. Anyway I was having a discussion about this uh, weird game, that really wasn't going anywhere...and it went like this: From Edward Vincent to Connie Chin on Apr 21 Woah! Two!? Holy shit that's a lot! Connie Chin to Edward Vincent on Apr 22 I KNOW LIKE. >.> bigger than the forever! (oh yeah i might go see Hitchhikers with you and Isab. >.>) Wtf? No one told me about any trips to god knows where. But who cares? From Edward Vincent to Connie on Apr 22 Oh yay. I'm always down for a movie. Then it was just assumed it would happen for the rest of the month there. But the strange thing is that it actually did! The last time I saw a movie with Connie, it was in Berkeley with Hui and a number of other people. I had my computer and I really hate the United Artist theater in downtown Berkeley. And to top all that off, it was the Matrix Revolutions...Which I liked but, come on. There were people behind me who just ruined it for me. Oh wellio. Moving on... While that day wasn't so bad, I did end up spending a bit more money then I expected, and I might have paid for a person or two's ticket without really knowing it. It was an R-rated movie and I was the only one over 18. Go fig'. It was really Hui's plan, and that's okay, but it could have been better. This time it was better. I was 'in charge' this time. I picked the theater, I bought the tickets, and I got to sit where I wanted to sit. And it was on opening night, as well. Gotta see it on opening night, there's just no way around it. The only problem was figuring out when our schedules matched, and then finding out the transportation. By the time we were ready to do these things we had assembled a team of five individuals, even if I did think there was six. How do you get six people to Emeryville from El Cerrito? It's not easy, I assure you. But the wonderful mafianess of the '94 Lincoln Towncar saved the day once again. The thing is spaceous. However we still had to pack three people in the front and three people in the back. It worked out pretty good for me though, 'cause I got to be, um, very close to two different girls! Closer than normal I'd say. But that's just a minor point. I still think some of them owe me money...but as of right now the movie was my treat. I expect to be paid back at some point, but...It was worth it to me. (Am I ever going to get to the movie?) I'll get into more detail on what happened before the movie at another time... (Thank you...er...thank me.) So then we were all waiting in line. Then these two dick security guards start to let people in. THEY LET PEOPLE IN! But not just any people, people with the number 13 on their fucking tickets. Now, as we found out, that's turned out to be okay. But there's something really pissy about standing in line, at the front, and then watching a shit load of people behind you get skipped ahead. Bastards. But it was worth it. Why? Because they have DLP. Digital Light Processing (DLP) is a technology used in projectors and projection televisions. It is currently the technology behind best projected image I've ever seen. They had one at the Science Fiction museum and used it to show you the world behind The Jetsons (?) and the Jetson's connection with The Matrix. It doesn't have to make sense, it still looked cool. Now someone somewhere out there may remember that I've said that I didn't believe in digital projection. If you'd talked to me before the opening day of I, Robot you'd be right. I first saw a digital projection in San Francisco at the AMC 1000 on Van Ness Avenue. The movie was Star Wars Episode II. I saw that movie in all the ways it was ever projected. Film, digital and IMAX. The film transfer was the best looking form of that movie, at least at that time. I'm sorry I got distracted reading about persistence of vision. It is interesting that : In digital film systems, the raster scan rate may be decoupled from the image update rate. In some systems, such as the DLP system, there is no flying spot or raster scan at all, so there is no flicker other than that generated by the temporal aliasing of the film image capture. YEAH MOTHA FUCKAZ! But this does have a point, the point is that even though the resolution for the digital version of Episode II was lacking in one of the more major ways I've ever seen (I believe it was a 1K projector), it still was amazingly clear and flicker-free. Flash forward to 2004. Dad is the one who wants to see I, Robot, not me. But I never pass up a movie, so I went along and said 'what the hell' and bought tickets to see it in DLP at the AMC Bay Street theater in Emeryvile. I was litteraly astounded. Ever since then I've been a strong supporter of DLP. The next movie seen by me in DLP was The Incredibles. And wow. The hair man, the hair! It was amazing. These things led to me picking the DLP showing of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and it was everything I hoped the projection to be. It was the best projection of anything I'd ever seen. I can not wait for Episode III to get another chance for pure digital bliss. Digital is the way to go people, seriously. Now then, the movie, right? That's why you're here, I assume. First of all, much to my dismay, I'm going to have to employ the use of Misinformer's Haven't Been There, Haven't Done That Disclaimer. I have not, and probably never will, read the books this movie was based on. Who has time for these things? The thing is thicker than my ... Well there are many things I could put there, but I won't, and I'll let your comedic genious figure something out that isn't vulgar or stupid. Interfuckingmission I stopped writing around four last night, so if there is a disconnect, you know, don't blame me. I had a little logo there for you luckily. Anyway this is getting long...I'm going to finish this and head on over to the spoiler section. I liked the movie, it was very, very pretty. It gets points for its visuals and effects. It also gets points for a scene where...whoops I should stick that in the spoiler lounge. I watched Ebert & Roeper and they just tore the movie apart. I respect Roger Ebert and his reviews, and I can understand what he was talking about, but that Richard Roeper cock-sucker slammed my favorite part of the movie! The asshole! GRR! Long story short (too late!) I liked the movie. I thought it was quirky and I don't feel robbed spending $60 dollars so my frends, my dad and I to see it. And I don't really give a shit if it's not like the book. My eyes are too fucked up to read, anyway. Did you gather I'm a fan of malcovich? When I first saw the trailer I thought it was David Letterman.
Spoilers Oh my fucking god that opening! If you're too cheap to see it in the theater, please click on this link right the fuck now! While I liked the whole movie, that was by far the most original opening credits sequence I'd ever seen. And I applaud the film makers for realizing that they could get away with such a thing. It also helps that the guy is a director of music videos. Normally I'm against directors of music videos from entering the realm of major feature length motion pictures, but in this case it worked out. It would be hard for anyone else to pull something like this off. Speaking of that, I'd like to point out that I'm a fan of Sam Rockwell. Recently I've been watching Confessions of a Dangerous Mind on tv. Also, I've liked him in such films as Galaxy Quest, Matchstick Men and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. However, I must say I didn't totally care for his character, overall, in this film. I didn't believe his motivation. I didn't really care for the second head he had. And that bit with the damn perspective gun or whatever it was called kinda pissed me off. Also, one more thing that bothered me. The whole thing with that super computer. Why were there two kids talking to the thing? Why was it the same two kids 7 million years later or whatever? Why were those mice the same two kids at the end of the movie? Why doesn't the Dent dude get in trouble for killing two child like mice? What the fuck does that mean? Also, that scene where they talked to the big computer was awful rushed. I don't think I even heard what the thing said. It was a good thing I saw the episode of the TV show with that scene a week earlier. I loved the design of the thing though. One eye...A long floppy-disk styleized drive for a mouth...And it likes to watch television...Brilliant. I work at a place called TechFutures, and this could not be more appropriate.

¿Will someone please buy me this poster?

¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?

You get a bump on the head and you think you're Pancho Villa?

It's getting to be movie season folks, and I'm going to try to see more movies if I can. And that also means, that I'm going to try and start writing more about them.

Starting today, I'm going to write a movie review for every movie I see in the theater.


But before I get into more detail about that, how about some pictures from today? You know you want them. After these I'll go into detail about Ed's upcoming movie reviews!

Clairemont hotel!


Dad's speed


clouds


The City


more clouds


They gave me a street! woot.

If you want to know more about any of those pictures, post a comment and I'll tell you ALL about them.

So now, movie reviews.

Ed's movie reviews will be written in the Misreviews fashion. It is my goal to make them interesting even if you care nothing about the movie. It's also my duty to review movies that many reviewers would pan because of their popcorn value. Popcorn is good! Fuck anyone who says different.

But still...yeah. I will differ from Misinformer.com in a couple ways. First of all, in their reviews, Marcus is always talking about the movie theater he saw it in, and saying that's a bad thing. I will make a point of it to talk about the theater I'm watching it in. The screen, the print, the crowd, the popcorn. Whatever it is, I'm going to talk about it before I get into the review. If you got a problem with that, tough. You can kiss my black ass.

But, I don't feel like trying to remember the last movie I saw in the theater, so...I'll do one I wrote last year for a little film called Collateral.

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Originally written on August 8th, 2004.

Review: Collateral by Michael Mann
by Edward Vincent

Welcome to the start of Ed's movie reviews.
God damn, isn't that anoying?

The quality of the movie will decide the length of this review. The better the movie, the longer the review. The worse the movie, the longer then review. If it's only mediocre, the review will be short. How much can you read about an average movie anyway? Oh and I'll leave all my spoilers in a separate section, if you're worried about that kind of thing.

And, in a misreviews fashion, my reviews might start off with nothing to do with any movie I saw that day. Misreviews is a section in the Misinformer website. Some of the most entertaining reviews I've ever read. Please check out their reviews, and see how bad mine really are. Too bad they stopped working on their site.

Anyway, on to the reviews.

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Collateral a.k.a. taxicab confessions with a clean cab
Staring
Tom "my hair is cool" Cruise Jamie "Bunz" Foxx And Jada Pinket Smith as The woman on the floor who cries before her job starts.	"I thought I told you to show me the fucking money!"
Reviewed On
August 7, 2004
Rating (of a possible five...)
Aww man I have to come up with my own ratings system…hmm…I know. Kind of stupid but… Four out of five rebel insignias. … What?
Review
Ok, so about a month ago, I went to the movies (Spider-man 2) with my friend, my mom and my dad. We got up to the Bay Street AMC and sat down. There was a big line so the theater was packed….had to sit semi-front row. I usually like to sit in the back but I'm getting side-tracked. The trailers started to roll. The trailer that held my attention the best was for a movie called Collateral. It caught my eye because it was obviously shot on video. And it was an exciting trailer. The icing on the cake was that it was going to be released on my birthday. I nudged my dad and told him that I had to see this movie. I'm not sure if he remembers that or not. Month rolls along… My birthday comes by and it's pretty good. I sleep till noon. Wake up, play some F-Zero. Take a relaxing bath. Dad says he won't go buy crack. And then we go out for a birthday dinner at Kinkaids. Have some teriyaki beef and a hamburger. We try real hard to tolerate my dad's behavior. I ask if they can rush their dinner so we can make it to an earlier showing. My dad can be quite the asshole sometimes, so of course they say no. Then by the time we finish eating neither of them want to go to the movies. IT'S MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY! I SHOULD GET TO DO WHAT I WANT! But noo they have to be all "I don't wanna see that." Well, what ended up happening is we had to go drop off my dad at home, then mom and I went to the movies. We got there just as it was starting. Lucky there were no good trailers 'cause it took us the entire trailer section to find a seat. I think it's sad that people are so afraid of other people they can't sit next to people they don't know, forcing people who are later than they are to sit in separate seats. That's not cool. I did not like that. We had to sit on the left side of the theater in separate seats. There are a few things about going to the movies that bug me. Sitting on the aisle, and not seeing a movie on opening day are the major ones. I like to be in the center, in the sweet spot of the theater, on opening day before the film's had the chance to get scratched up and ugly looking. I'm picky like that. Anyway what does all this have to do with the movie? Absolutely nothing. I loved Tom Cruise's hair style. I've never seen him look so cool. I can't begin to explain how cool Tom Cruise is. Also I think it could be safe to say that Michael Mann hates the city of Los Angeles. All of Tom Tom's rants about how isolated everyone is in a city so dense is proof. And Tommy Cruise is right. I hate LA for the same reason. There's something wrong when one of the largest cities in the world can be filled with people who don't know each other and never will. It's one of the ways Tom justifies his role as Vincent. Hey there's another reason for me to like this movie. I share a name with a bad ass hit man. Jamie Foxx has never really bothered me. Back in the day of In Livin' Color, he was cool. Booty Call was cool. Him prematurely ejaculating in a rubber glove while the guy in the full body cast was watching was just hilarious. This movie isn't really a comedy, and his roles in the two movies are really different. He did real good though. Things I didn't like about this movie: They tried to make a lawyer look like a good person. They tried to make the LAPD look like the good guys. (However, they did make the FBI look like a bunch of retards.) And even though this movie was almost entirely shot on video, the DLP Theater was showing The Village instead. What the fuck? The DLP Theater was made to show movies like this. I was subjected to scratches and fuzzy images. I was disappointed at this fact. Why would they show The Village, a movie that's been out for a week or two that is shot entirely on film, on the DLP? Makes no sense to me. What more can I say? Get your ass to the theater and see this movie. I doubt you'll regret it. While mom and I were at the movie, dad went and bought crack.
Spoilers Did anyone else notice the piece of music right before the guy falls onto the cab? I'm not sure…but I believe it was the same piece they used in Evangelion, just played on a piano… II Air [ORCHESTRAL SUITE No.3 in D Major, BWV. 1068] (Slow Tempo) [First Collection] That's what iTunes tells me the name of the song is…you can figure it out from there if you're interested. The Jazzman. Where have I seen him before? He's been in other movies… How is it this professional hit man, as cool as Tom Cruise, can't shoot a cabbie like Jamie Foxx? Come on man. That's just boo. Hey…maybe I'm missing something…Maybe Vincent let Max kill him, because he liked him too much. But even after all that, Max goes out of his way to save a Lawyer. A FUCKING LAWYER. Maybe in real life lawyers are good people, but in fiction, lawyers are supposed to be bloodsuckers and ambulance chasers. What gives, eh?

You smell an awful lot like flowers.

This morning I decided not to bring my iPod to school. I decided not to bring my laptop to school. I decided to bring my camera. I decided to go for a somewhat quiet day. I had a glass of the tea I made last night and went with mom to the bart station. Mom dropped me off and I stood there on the train platform waiting for the train, and I look to my right and there is this girl tieing her shoes. Pink laces...Brown hair with the tips dyed blonde. I was a bit earlier than usual, and a Fremont train came approached. It's always a delemia when a Fremont train comes by, when you want to go to San Francisco. Do you get on and hope that you'll catch a transfer? You risk getting on the freemont and just waiting for the same train you would have got on if you had waited. So I said, if this girl gets on the train, I'll get on. I didn't really say it, I thought it, you know?

So she gets on the same car as me, even if it is on the opposite end. I can't see her most of the ride, but every time I glance I can see those highlights that just do something for me. We get to MacArthur, and I get off waiting for the transfer train to go to San Francisco, and I look to my left and she's doing the same thing!

you can see her with the brown hair with highlights, a white bag, and an ass that wont quit...wtf am I talking about?

The San Francisco train gets crowded pretty quick. As I get off at the Embarcadero, I look to my left and don't see the girl getting off. I probably won't see her again, but it's strange how certain things motivate you.

Waiting for an M train in the Muni station, I look at the map and it says there's an M. Usually they come in, let the people off and turn around a little farther down in the tunnel, but every now and then they switch tracks BEFORE they get to Embarcadero. I say "boy it'd be cool if the train did that." And sure enough, it did! I knew today would be a good day.

On the train I start reading this weeks cinema assignment... Something called "Laura Mulvey, “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema,” in Visual and Other Pleasures (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1989)" and it starts talking about sex and phalic something or other. I quote, "The paradox of phallocentrism in all its manifestations is that it depends on the image of the castrated women to give order and meaning to this world." What the fuck? I thought you needed testicles to be castrated. Either way, most of this psychoanalytic bullshit is way over MY head. And then, more to the point for this post, it starts to talk about pleasure in looking. Scopophilia. Just 15 minutes earlier I was motivated to get on a train so I could look just get a glimpse of this girl I'd never talk to, never meet, and probably never see again. Is that a bad thing? I just don't know...

Just take the god damn picture, mother.

Well, I could only get a couple pages out of that on the train ride, but as I got out of the tunnel at West Portal Station, I noticed a smell. I thought it was someone sitting in front of me. A good soap they used or perhaps a perfume of some kind. Lotion...that sort of thing. Then they got off the train and I could still smell it. I was trying to put my finger on it, what could that smell be? I got off the train and I could still smell it. Can you imagine what water smells like? Not just water, though, the ideal form of water. Water in the Platonic sense, you know what I'm saying? Perfect water. Can you imagine that smell? Okay, good. Now add a sweetness to it. It smelled the way angels oughta smell, you know what I'm saying? And it was all around me. Then it hit me...It was the smell of flowers! Not the stinky flowers, but the best smelling flowers you'll ever smell. Everywhere! Not so much that it overwhelms you either, just enough to let you know its there and make you feel good. I really loved this smell. I wish it would never go away.

The saddest part would be that if it never went away, our noses would eventually get used to it and stop smelling it. That would be so sad...

But it was a good day!

Anyway I'm noticing this smell, and I look up and bam! Right in front of me, walking a bit speedier is the girl from the BART. I'd never have thought she'd go to San Francisco State! I never did see her face though...kind of sad really.

But it was a good day, really! I don't care how many 'sad' things happened.

So I went and got a smoothie and a bagle. It was a really, really good smoothie! I was impressed. But, I had class so I headed on out, and I saw this:

Call me a sap if you must, but I really like to see movie cameras. Even if they are 16 mm cameras, they're still movie cameras damnit. I gotta admit, I'm not exactly thrilled to use film...the frugal man inside me (who is quite prominant) doesn't like the idea of spinning thousands of feet of plastic though a little hole...you know, all at once. I like the idea of digital a bit more. But I'm side tracked now...

This is waiting for class...I like how it turned out.

I like taking random pictures of people who don't know they're on camera. It's a thing I do. They'll never see the pictures and I'll never know who they are, but I still get a kick out of it for some reason.

And since it's already after midnight, I'm going to wrap up with just pictures now.

The Sutro Tower. Something like this is featured in San Andreas.


Dad in admiral uniform. Isabel, still want to borrow it?


lightsaber spoon. from kellogg. will give darth maul an orgasm.


darth maul. menacing, isn't he?


Screen of Law of Ueki.

I've been downloading anime like crazy the past day or so. I love bittorrent. You should all have it. It should be the first thing you install on your computer...

But I think I'm done. Sorry the end of this post couldn't be as good as the begining.

I still have to put cherry syrup on it and then we can eat it.

You Are the Very Gay Winnie the Pooh!

Come on, he doesn't wear pants! And he's a little too obsessed with Christopher Robin

What Gay Childhood Icon Are You?

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Harold Ramis is a sap. He chose to direct Groundhog Day because of the scene where Andie MacDowell bids her whole pocketbook on Bill Murray. That is kind of like me...

Last night I stayed up until 4:30 in the morning because I was watching a Jamie Foxx romantic comedy called Breakin' All the Rules where he shows his love for a girl by biting through his own skin. There was this whole speech about how a sane person simply can't bite through their own skin, and that love is equal to insanity. And that's how he tells his wannabe girlfriend that he loves her at the end of the movie while she's riding away on an Amtrak train with this 80 year old white man who wants her to hold his dick. I know! That was probably the biggest laugh in the movie when she walks in on him naked and he says "please hold my dick." But anyway, she stops the train, which I'm pretty sure is illegal, and they get togeather. Then, without buying a ticket, Jamie Foxx get's back on the train and sits next to this girl and the white guy looks sad cause now he's not getting any fine young black pussy. As if he was going to get some anyway.

Please forgive my language there. That's gotta be the most offensive thing I've ever wrote. In my opinion anyway.

But why would I stay up so late for a somewhat poor romantic comedy? 'Cause I'm a sap. It's the same reason why I stayed up for two days with no sleep watching 満月（フルムーン）をさがして, which by all accounts is a sappy, angsty, somewhat bad show for little girls.

I still loved it. Same could be said about 愛してるぜベイベ★★ which I loved and downloaded each episode religously.

It is also the reason why I could sit there on that train in an uncomfortable position and watch The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement. (I also watched the first one when it was on HBO and liked it...Hell it was set mostly in San Francisco and it had Marry Poppins in it!

I really liked the movies though, I'm a damn sap. What's wrong with me? How many guys do you know, who aren't gay, who like such movies? I mean, when I was a little boy, Marry Poppins was my all time favorite movie. I wanted to be a chimney sweep in kindergarden. Do you know anyone who likes musicals and a movie like Bad Santa or Fight Club or 12 Monkeys? Wait, didn't 12 Monkeys have a love story too? GRR! Damn you Julie Andrews!

This is why I liked Sailor Moon too, which can ultimately be the reason why I like any kind of anime. So you can blame my sappy heart for all this anime shit you have to deal with. You can blame it for the reason why I have a 日本語ＩＭＥ installed on my computer, and why you have to look at the dates on this blog in Japanese. It's responsible for all the pain I've went through, feeling stupid for not being as much of a linguist as my fellow classmates. Yet it's strong enough to keep me going, keep me studying.

The most ironic part is, I don't really believe in love. Ever since maybe 6th grade or so, I've thought that love isn't real, and it's just a method of keeping people from having sex with just anyone. GRR. That sucks, doesn't it?

But even worse than that is, I'm not sure if I believe in sex either. I'm not saying I don't believe in it in the same way I don't believe in god. That'd be silly. Of course sex exists. However, I'm not sure if it's something I actually want. I think it's something I instinctually desire, however when I think about it, I really don't want it. I don't want to deal with having a girlfriend. I don't want to throw my money away on another person, I have enough trouble throwing my money away on myself. Also, I kind of repeatedly get the impression that even if I really, truely did want it, no other girl would want the same from me. Another way of looking at it is, the kind of girl who I'm attracted to wouldn't really be interested in sex anyway, so the relationship would be all about love, which I don't believe in so...

It's getting confusing.

Eh, I'd better stop now. This has gone Emo enough.

Everyone else has had more sex than me.

Ugh, I hate those kind of glasses.

Shit happens when you party naked.

You guys, I just saw the best movie.

You should see it.

It's called Bad Santa.

And yes, it is as funny as it looks.

Actually it's a bit funnier. I was surprised.

Okay this post is kind of lacking. It really is the best movie, though I'm just writing this to pass the time while I wait for the washer to finish...

I'm not 100% done with the Seattle stuff. Isabel still has to develope her camera, so there'll be a post around that. And there's also the matter of Travelodge's mascott...

Oh man, it makes me sick all over.

Alright. Yeah, you know you like it.

Oh, big ups to Isabel for helping me study today, lord knows I wouldn't have been able to do any of that without help.

Now, if it helps me pass the class with my fried fucking brain, I'll be sure to do something extra thankful.

I mean, she already has my thanks, but if it actually works...Well. I'm not sure what I'll do, yet. Any suggestions? (you can post comments)

Do I need to split hairs here?

And what happened then? In South Park they say, Johny Cochrane's heart grew three sizes that day.

"Look at the monkey, look at the silly monkey."

That was the last anyone heard of the poor Mr. Cochrane...Because on Tuesday, March 29, 2005, at 7:49:38 PM, we were interupted of our showing of The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement with this message from the conductor:

"Johny Cochrane passed away at 67 years old today."

That just about sums up our trip.

Gonna be a long post tonight, folks. This post contains extream language. Reader discretion is advised.

Before I get into talkings about our trip, and pictures and all other types of ill shit like that, I want to get something off my chest.

I was at school today, and I bought a bag of sunchips and a Mocha Frappuccino® Blended Coffee and I got my change...and I found this.

The first quarter released in 2005 honors California, and is the 31st in the United States Mint's 50 State Quarters® Program. California was admitted into the Union on September 9, 1850, becoming our Nation’s 31st State. Nicknamed the "Golden State," California’s quarter depicts naturalist and conservationist John Muir admiring Yosemite Valley’s monolithic granite headwall known as "Half Dome" and also contains a soaring California condor. The coin bears the inscriptions "California," "John Muir," "Yosemite Valley" and "1850."

What the fuck? Where's Hollywood? Lake Tahoe? Ansil Adams? The god damn Golden Gate Bridge? Golden Gate Park? Mount Shasta? Agriculture? Fucking gold rush?! The Golden Bear? THE FUCKING CALIFORNIA CHEESE? What the hell? I mean, don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with Yosemite or John Muir, but damn.

Wouldn't this have been a sweet quarter?

Moving on, I'm sure you're all anxious to hear about the trip!~ Well let's get crackin' eh?

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The day started off like any other. Went to work. Did some crap... Went home. Took a shower. All that good stuff. Then I had to pack...that wasn't fun. But I got it done...Then I found I packed all my clothes! What was I supposed to wear on the train? My damned boxers? As comfortable as I'm sure that'd be, I doubt anyone else on the train would have felt the same. So, I found some shitty sweats and my TechFutures Class of 2003 t-shirt. Then Isabel came over. And after some various shit, we went to the Emeryville train station, and had a good time. Mom and dad parked while we checked our luggage, and then since they got a parking space they waited at the station.

Thing is, the train wouldn't be there for another several hours. Also, Isabel and I wanted to go to the Emeryville Public Market. Cause, uh...it's a nice place or something.

She got a gyro.

I got a burger and a coke with some fries, 'cause that's the thing to do these days. However, something wasn't right.

The coke! It tasted terrible. Either there was some kind of nasty shit in the cup or their syrup mixture was way off. It tasted like poison. It probably was. I didn't finish it...and I paid for that shit too! Terrible... But moving on.

We went to Borders Bookstore and picked out some, uh, gifts. I kind of feel stupid for not taking a picture of them. Mongoose, you better photograph them asap. The fake bill, the chicken and the erotic poster.

As we were walking around though, I noticed this:

Star Wars endorsed lotto tickets. Oh yeah. I love it. It fits with the whole star wars theme our trip had with the confused chewbaccas and stuff.

Oh, just incase you were wondering what Mongoose was talking about...

I just thought it was weird Chewie all of a sudden had fingers...There were also Cheez-its.

That's the one I picked, cause I didn't like the idea of oatmeal in my raisin bran.

We eventually got tired of the market, and we didn't want to leave mom and dad in the train station all night guarding our bags. So we ran back over and hung with them for a little while, and then they left...and the train was still hours away. Joy.

Good thing we had laptops and stuff. We watched some of Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind which was fun.

Then at a certain point I said we should go outside so we wont miss the train.

Ever danced with the devil by the pale moon light?


Mother fucker.

Then it was a long train ride to ... wherever it was we were headed. I will forever hate Bakersfield, especially after it forced us to wait for three hours in Sacra-fucking-mento. I watched the rest of Nausicca, and Isabel fell asleep. I didn't get that opourtunity really. Saw the moon set though, that was pretty cool. Tried to photograph it, didn't work too well from a moving train.

Dawn of the Second Day

Weird mountain type things.


Mount Shasta. Yeah. I think...

One of the things that kept cracking me up was what they said over the intercom before every stop. "Have breath of fresh air and a smoke..." Need I say more? That's just terrible.

Here is one of those stops.


Captains Log Stardate 94530.708

Several hours of boring trainride with dead batteries all around and we made it to Oregon! And saw someone...

Do a little dance...Make a little love...


Shakespear is evil and can suck my wang.

Near Tim's comedy sports thing, there was this restruant:

-Ahem-


WHAT THE FUCK!?

Moving on...We then did stay at his house one night, and then I played some Taiko Drum thing, which was fun. It would have been funner if they had the full version of My Sharona instead of the Alvin and the Chipmunks version.

I think I actually have this album. Not on 8-track though. 8-track is for pussies.

On the train.

And we then made it all the way to Seattle. And it was wet. But not bad. I don't think I took any pictures on the first day, it wasn't until that night, at the Jet City Improv dealie that I took some pictures. Actually no, that's wrong...What the fuck am I talking about? I think my pictures are just out of order. Rather than re-order them, I'm going to take you through things non-chronologically. Tough titty.

The Vegan Pizza place had an Etch A Sketch! And pinball. It wasn't bad, even if it was a grass-eating pussy vegan restruant. They did have a way to order a pizza online, which impressed me. Also, they had a little Mario Kart toy, which amused me for a few seconds.

But yeah. Let's move on away from such things as pussy veggie resturants that make pizza without cheese...*shudders*


We doin' Big Pimpin' and spendin' cheese. Yeah. And let's ra-ah-a-a-a-a-a. Big Pimpin' up in Seattle C'!


Moving on.

Oh here's that picture he was talking about:

スペース　ニーダル！

View from the top of...some oil device...


Same view without telescope.


Easter Sunday on the Space Needle


At least we weren't the only godless sons-of-bitches at the top of the Space Needle on Easter Sunday. But, at least this kid is with her family. Or else that's some creepy kidnapper. But try to think positive.


Nice...sound? Is it called a sound?


There's the bastards who wouldn't take my picture from the top. So I have no proof that I was at the top! DAMNIT!


There was a security guard coloring with the kiddies and the easter bunny (who had way too big feet. It made me doubt my manhood.)

Oh before we go down from the Space Needle...It's time for a little...

FORESHADOWING!

Pepsi sign. /end foreshadowing


Next stop: EMP and the SCI-FI Museum.

On our way to the Sci-Fi Museum, we ran across this dude:

NERD!


Shiny!


NERD!


Hi Gort, how ya doing?


Which one am I again?

Disapointment

Don't get me wrong, the Sci-Fi museum was kick ass cool. I bought one of those punching nun things, only it was a pink glowing-green-eyed alien instead of a nun. But it was cool. However, we exited the museum to find out that we came down from the Space Needle too soon, as...

IT CLEARED UP! Son of a bitch.

Somewhat pooped, we went back to the Monorail. Oh, I forgot to mention they have a monorail? Well they do. What I say? Monorail! What's it called? Monorail.

The light was cool, bouncing off of the EMP.


There's the monorail track. Course it wasn't a disneyland monorail, had to be a fruity 20th century monorail. Bastards.


View of the track and the needle.


Magic Hour

Dawn of The Final Day

For whatever meal it was we ate first, we went to Int'l Teriyaki. Yeah... That's why we went there. It wasn't magical, I'll say that.

Then we went to the Pike market or whatever it was called. Those two fuckers spent a damn hour in a god damn bookstore looking at Science Fiction books. NERDS!

Then we walked down a ways to a comic book store.

Something about rack after rack of bondage faries was interesting to me.


With all those books, you'd think they'd have a copy of Sin City, but NOOOO. I had to go into that movie blind.

Confusion!

Remember how I said the pictures went out of order? Well, we're going backwards for a minute here.

I have woke up screaming every night after seeing this.


They got a kick out of this.

Okay back to where I left off, after leaving the comic book store we went out and checked some shit out.

Sexy man. Or so they say...


I like it better this way.


That is Isabel's outline


Ed @ first Starbucks.

We then decided to rush to catch the sunset.

There were totem poles.


Do you want to see MY totem pole?

Then we decided to do our christian rock album cover.

Where's George Lucas when you need his special effects?

Once the sun was down, we treked back.

Yahoo Serious

CAN'T YOU READ?

Somewhere on this trek, the name Yahoo Serious popped up for the first time.

That's right, the very same Yahoo Serious in that photo.

At the time, we thought nothing of it.

Later that night we decided we were hungry...What to do, we said. We left the hotel in search of some kind of interesting and tasty resturant. We crossed over from the right and wrong side of the tracks repeatedly. Never quite knowing where we were going. I knew something was wrong when I saw this sign:

AHH REPUBLICANS! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

I stared at the sign too long and it started to have a hypnotic effect on me...

Thank god I was surrounded by two other godless liberals and they snapped me out of it.

We were certainly lost in a city we didn't know much about. We might have been able to find our way back to the hotel, but we sure as shit weren't going to find any cool indy resturant that I could eat at anytime soon... We knew we were at a dead end when we saw this...

Peppushi!~

But there was one shiny bit of a guideing light to food. Sure, it may not have been the best food or our best option, but at least at this place we knew what we were in for. Or so we thought.

We entered the Outback Steakhouse.

Tim said something somewhat disturbing about the bloomin' onion. At this time I can't remember what it was...

There is something really scary going on now...

But we ordered our food without too much trouble...Or so I thought. When it came time for Tim to order his drink...He said he wanted a tall glass of Yahoo Serious Iced Tea.

EWW! Is that the iced tea?

(This picture was from earlier in the day, but I swear the facial expression was the same in that booth and the only sound possible from that face is either AHHH! or SHWAAA????!)

The waitress was good though, a little too good to be able to get over a blow like that. This could only mean that Yahoo Serious Iced Tea, or worse yet, a tall glass of it, was some sort of Aussie code for "I'm on to you." Taken aback, the waitress walked away.

Later, she returned with our food.

My burger. At places like this, I always get a burger. Cause how can you fuck up a burger?

My food was decent, if not in insanely large portions. Tim's however...
Well, you can read his blog to find out about his cinnamon apples.

Wikipedia says of Serious:
Yahoo Serious (born July 27 1953), originally known as Greg Pead (name-change by deed poll in 1980), is an Australian film maker.

In 1988, Serious wrote, produced, and directed Young Einstein, an intentionally inaccurate movie portraying Albert Einstein as a young farmer in Tasmania who discovers rock music. The movie was an international hit, grossing over $26 million, and propelled Serious to stardom.

This tells me two things: Wikipedia is under the influence of Yahoo Serious, Inc. and that the man is dangerous.

We had no choice but to sit there and finish our food. If they realized we suspected anything, they'd surely kill us. Luckily, Isabel got a phone call from some psycho friend of hers and that distracted us, at least for a little while, from Yahoo Serious.

We got up, paid, left and headed for the hotel. A cop rolled by.

I figured, we just survived a showdown with Yahoo Serious, cops don't scare me.

"FUCK THE POLICE!"

And then I proceeded to recite Ice Cube's verse from that very song. Good thing it wasn't very warm and it was dark so the cop's windows were rolled up.

Fuck tha police
Comin straight from the underground
Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority

Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't tha one
For a punk muthafucka with a badge and a gun
To be beatin on, and throwin in jail
We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell

Fuckin with me cuz I'm a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin my car, lookin for the product
Thinkin every nigga is sellin narcotics

You'd rather see me in the pen
Then me and Lorenzo rollin in the Benzo
Beat tha police outta shape
And when I'm finished, bring the yellow tape
To tape off the scene of the slaughter
Still can't swallow bread and water

I don't know if they fags or what
Search a nigga down and grabbin his nuts
And on the other hand, without a gun they can't get none
But don't let it be a black and a white one
Cuz they slam ya down to the street top
Black police showin out for the white cop

Ice Cube will swarm
On any muthafucka in a blue uniform
Just cuz I'm from the CPT, punk police are afraid of me
A young nigga on a warpath
And when I'm finished, it's gonna be a bloodbath
Of cops, dyin in LA
Yo Dre, I got somethin to say

Fuck the police (4X)

But yes. We survived. And we lived to tell the tale. But not a day goes by when we don't look over our shoulder for the creepy 'fro of Yahoo Serious. The only other white boy 'fro in the world that could take on mine.

Goodbye :'(

Good idea: Meet friend. Bad Idea: Sleep with him

Damn, my butthole still hurts, man.

Well, the next morning, we got a exclusive limo ride from the travelodge towncar. Got on the train. Watched The Big Lebowski. Arrived in Eugene, Oregon.

Bye...


Oh my god...what's that lurking in the shadows! Is that an aussie 'fro?

Well, I guess we were too late to save Tim. Off the train goes, back for the 20 some odd hour trip back to California.

On the train, we watched The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement and The Forgotten. I was pleasently surprised with both movies. But now my secret is out...I like movies like The Princess Diaries...

AHHH!!!

There was a rainbow on the trip. Spiffy.

We made it back two hours late, and Irene gave us a ride back to the Cerrito.

And that was our trip. Hope you enjoyed the report.

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Slight preview of things to come. I know Isabel will hate this, but tough. Fair Use Bitches!