Ed wallpaper maker tutorial!

[02:23] Edcool1: i think im' gonna make a blog post based on that
[02:23] MadStrife: haha
[02:23] MadStrife: yeah
[02:23] MadStrife: you just
[02:23] MadStrife: totally explained everything

So yeah! Here it is.

Yay.

Okay so I have this picture I found on some website.

The Price is Wrong, Chiyo-chan!

Now that is that images full resolution. Not very good looking, right? Certainly not made for a 1680x1050 screen resolution. So what can we do about this?

Step 1:
Make it bigger.

That gives you this...I dunno, perverted jagged ugly version of your image:

That's bad! It's ugly! Jagged! Worse than the graphics on your playstation2! So what can you do?

Step 2:
Gaussian Blur. Or something.

That gives you this blurred out of focus look, observe:

Now the jaggies are gone, but...Wait! Something else is wrong! Look at that! It's totally out of focus! No definition at all! Something must be done!

Step 3:

So what I did next was a combination of a grain filter and some kind of brush filter, croshatch maybe? I forget.

Now what do we have, grain and some edges, but still blury...Wait what else looks like that? I know! An 8mm film frame!

Step 4 (research)
Thanks to Oliver Stone I will forever think of the Zapruder Film when I think of 8mm.

Observe:

Yeah. History. Back and to the left.

So yeah. Do you see the similarites between that image and the one above it? Kinda blury, grainy and stuff? Yeah!

Cause I'm kind of a buff for the Zapruder film, I have at least 5 different copies of it on my computer. I have the original version, a version with the sproket holes in it, a zoomed in version, a stablized version (so you can kind of see how it is a hoax). I got it all. So this innocent picture of Chiyo-chan on the Price is Right reminds me of a man getting his brains blown out. Yes. yes.

Step 5:


So we now have our reference photo! Let's compare it to our desired wallpaper!


Oh crap! Our picture isn't wide enough!

The sproket holes of the 8mm film and the actual 8mm camera itself kind of creat this distorted image over by the sproket holes. I'm not a painter, I can't really fill in what's missing the way it should be done. I can, however, half-ass it.

Stretch it!


Step 6:

Now what's the problem? There's this obvious line from where I stretched it! So I have to now fix that some how, I take the original and overlay it, and then fade it with a gradient mask (taking special care to keep her pigtail unstretched) that looks something like this:


Now the final touches.

Step 7:

Using my reference frame from the Zapruder film as a guide for my sproket holes, I use the magic wand tool and select the white area in those holes and create a color fill from that. I use a fuzzy brush to hide any jaggies from the Zapruder film.

This looks like this:


Step 8:


Now, when you look at the reference, you see that kind of purplish color over on the left side, between the sproket holes? This is most likely from the latent edge code on the 8mm film, but I could be wrong. Could just be more distortions from the camera.

That being said, it's there and I want to re-create it for my wallpaper.

I use the select color command and select the purple. Then I make another color fill for that with the purple color. Check it:


Almost done!

Step 9:

Just put the stretched Chiy0-chan image back underneath the color fills and viola. You got your 8mmized version of Chiyo-chan on the price is right.


Now this begs the question. Why is there an 8mm film of Chiyo-chan on the price is right? My theory is, it was the item they were bidding on--a 8mm film camera. And one of the pretty girls Bob Barker has on his show is shooting film of the contestants. Chiyo is going for the low bid, but feels wrong bidding just 1 dollar. So she bids $22.50. Makes sense to me.

The price is wrong, bitch.

"I think it's a gun pressed up against my dick." 15 minutes later. "I couldn't speak any japanese and his english was terrible. But what can I say?"

I was looking at my sight stats a little earler and I saw someone made it to this blog searching for this:

how do i say "hello, how are you?" in japanese?

I'm the 3rd result on that there. And I didn't even answer the question. I'm there because I quoted the movie Sphere.

I noticed that and I said...damn that's kind of sad. I can answer that question! Even with my year and a half of no practice. So I'll do that.


So, how do you say "hello, how are you?" in japanese?
It could vary depending on the time of day, but for starters let's say you're talking on the phone.

Japanese in this pinkish color.
English pronounciation of that same phrase in this greenish color.
And the rough translation in this purplish color.

もしもし！お元気ですか？
moshimoshi! ogenki desu ka?
Hello! How are you?

MoshiMoshi is like, the general telephone greeting. Be careful not to say "mushi mushi" 'cause mushi means 'bug' and you'll be saying "bug bug" to the person on the phone. Would be weird! Ogenki is slightly polite way to say feeling. Genki is feeling. You see? Desu is like...uh...in this case it's what they call the polite copula in Japanese. I have no idea what that means, it's just something you gotta know. Google tells me "A copula is a word that combines the subject and its explanation. The verb be is the English copula. The Japanese copula is not a verb." So the word Be. Okay. So far we have Feeling Be. So what is Ka? In Japanese, adding ka to the end of almost any sentence will make it a question. You kind of figure out which question word it is with context. So, now we have Feeling Be Ka, or Feeling Be How? or How (you) be feeling? How are you (feeling). Nice, right?

Now what if you're not on the phone? What if you run into someone on the street? Well, if it's the first time you see a person and it's early in the morning you'd say:

おはようございます!　おげんきですか。
ohayoo gozaimasu! ogenki desu ka?
Good morning! How are you?

Ogenki we covered. Ohayoo gozaimasu is just how you say good morning. I'm not going to get into why. Look it up. Google is your friend.

What if it's the day time, but like, after breakfast?
Well you're screwed!

Hahaha! Just kidding.

こんにちは!　おげんきですか。
konnichiwa! ogenki desu ka?
Hello! How are you?

Konnichi is basically the way you say hello after its morning. You can really say this any time of the day. It could be translated to Good Afternoon.

And what about night time? Well, after the sun has set, you can get away with saying this:

こんばんは!　おげんきですか。
konbanwa! ogenki desu ka?
Good Evening! How are you?

Konbanwa is similar to konnichi way. Nichi means day, ban means night. In general anyway. Google should confirm all this. Check it.

Anyway, that's for you, anonymous websurfer! Enjoy.

You should know have enough information to fill out the first three problems on this homework sheet!

Maybe next week I'll show you how to fill out the rest! Stay tuned!

私がおまえを殺す！

Woah ya'll! Can you believe it? It's a new year! Already!
2006 here we are.

me:
hey, it's like 2006. In germany...
doug:
it's 2006 here now
me:
Noo give me back my 2005!
doug:
but 2005 sucked the assy ass.
me:
but 2006 could be so much worse!~
doug:
i would prefer that it wasn't
me:
well you can prefer till your ass bleeds but that doesn't mean it wont be the worst year yet.
doug:
you have nothing to back that up with though

for all you know, 2006 could be another 1871, and we all know how great 1871 was
me:
Okay so you got me there.

Wee to that. Hey, guess what! I wrote a script! Isn't that cool? Rather than paste it here and try to make it fit in the margins of this blog, I've posted it (and some earlier drafts) on my photo holder blog. Check it yo!~

It's still in rough draft stages, but its the first time I've made it through all 10 parts of the story. When I started writing it there wasn't supposed to be more than one part...Just kind of worked out that way. It will make a nice little web series, don't you think?

Oh and incase anyone doesn't understand screenplay format, here's an amusing link which describes most grammer and syntax of such a format in the industry standard.

It wasn't supposed to be so long, but it kind of grew to be that long. This will be filmed before the end of this year. This will be my practice movie. And it will be awesome. Just you wait.

I suspect that it will be presented on RumAndCookies and hosted by Google Video. Just you wait!